I’ve been frequenting a particular bagel shop because their bagels are truly excellent—Seattle-excellent, which is saying something. They’ve got that chewy-yet-soft texture and creative flavors that make you believe in carbs again.

But there’s a catch: They won’t actually sell me a dozen to take home. Every time I try, I’m met with a firm “no,” as if I’ve just asked for their social security numbers.

The reason? They have to “save some for later.”

At first, I thought maybe it was a fluke—an overzealous bagel bouncer guarding the stash. But then a new location opened closer to my house—my chance for a fresh start. I walked in, smiled, and tried again. Same story.

So now I’m wondering if it’s me. Do I look like someone running a black-market bagel ring out of my garage? Am I on some kind of carb watchlist? I’ll never find out because I’m not going back.

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