"An unsanctioned cage fight:" The football coaches at Shelton High School ran an unplanned drill where players practiced tackling each other without pads or helmets in the school's wrestling room. Within 30 minutes, five students were injured. Some experienced concussions (one student said he witnessed someone slam another's head into a wall) while others dislocated their fingers (a doctor told one kid that his finger will "not work the same" for the rest of his life). To make matters worse, this is apparently not the first time the coaches have run this "Fight Club"-esque drill. 

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool: The Seattle Times ran the numbers. To afford a "typical" home in the Seattle area, you need to be raking in $214,000 a year. The thinking is that "buyers spend no more than 30% of their income on housing... make a 10% down payment and secure a 6.6% interest rate." The income needed to afford a house around these parts has increase 80% since 2020. Since then, income has only gone up 22%. How are you enjoying living in this rigged game of Monopoly? 

Speaking of football injuries: A former University of Washington football player, Emeka Megwa, filed a lawsuit this week alleging the team's negligence in the treatment of his knee injuries. Megwa enrolled at UW in 2021 under the impression that its medical staff would help him recover from an ACL injury. The staff put him on a 9-12 month treatment and recovery plan. Then, when new coach Kalen DeBoer arrived, Megwa said he was pushed into team activities before he was medically cleared and called a "pussy" when he complained of any pain. He tore another part of his ACL. 

MOD Pizza employees win settlement: After failing to provide a work schedule 14 days in advance and thus violating Seattle's Secure Scheduling Ordinance, MOD Pizza reached a settlement with the the Office of Labor Standards and will pay $80,000 to 80 of its pizza-slinging employees. This is the second time MOD violated this ordinance and then paid for the transgression. 

More showers: What is this, April? Seattle is in for a soggy, showery weekend. Seek refuge at Emerald City Comic-Con. Or huddle together for warmth and a different kind of wetness at a HUMP! showing. 

Meanwhile, a winter storm in California: From Friday through Sunday, snow will fall at a rate of 3 to 5 inches an hour in parts of California. The Sierra Nevadas could see 6 to 10 feet of snow in a matter of days. 

Berlin activists take to the trees to "Stop Tesla:" Around 80 to 100 activists are living in tents and above-ground treehouses in a Berlin forest in an effort to stop the expansion of a nearby Tesla factory. This expansion would require the destruction of 247 acres of forest. 

Good for them: Michigan cities and counties with recreational marijuana stores will see some change—$87 million total in excise tax dollars. Municipalities will earn $59,000 per pot shop. Detroit, with 33 stores, will rake in nearly $2 million. This is the first year Michigan cities will see any weed money since recreational pot sales only started in 2023. 

RIP Nalvany: Despite a heavy police presence, thousands of mourners gathered outside a church in a Moscow neighborhood as Aleksei Navalny was laid to rest. People chanted "Thank you, Aleksei," "love is stronger than fear," "Russia will be free," and "No to war!" He was lowered into his grave as Frank Sinatra's “My Way” and the final song from “Terminator 2" (Navalny considered the movie “the best film on Earth.”) played. 

Finally, In-N-Out comes to Washington: My California heart stirs for one thing, and it is the siren song of the In-N-Out Double-Double. The California chain (which is, regrettably, owned by a conservative family) has plans for its first-ever Washington state location. It'll be located in a new development in Ridgefield, Washington. There's no timeline yet for the store's opening.

Odysseus runs into some trouble: The first US lander to touch down on the moon since the Apollo missions has gone quiet. When the lander, Odysseus, touched down, the craft tipped over and broke a leg. Now, just a week later, Odysseus has fallen silent and powered down. Look, all I'm saying is that if you name anything Odysseus, you're going to need to prepare for some trials and tribulations. 

Aid convoy massacre prompts more calls for ceasefire: Israeli troops mowed down a mass of Palestinians waiting for food from an aid truck, killing over 100 people and injuring around 700. In defense of the bloodshed, Israel said its troops fired five warning shots into the air, then opened fire "when the mob moved in a manner which endangered them.” The reasoning is weak. So is the international response. Annalena Baerbock, Germany’s foreign minister, called for a ceasefire. Other foreign ministers are calling for investigations into the incident. The US called for more border crossings to facilitate aid. Joe Biden said this would complicate ceasefire talks. 

A queer history milestone: "Humpback whales photographed having sex for the first time — and both were male"

Missouri gubernatorial candidate denies being a KKK member: Darrell Leon McClanahan III is on the ballot for the GOP primary in Missouri's governor race. He's been pictured giving a Nazi salute next to a man in white robes in front of a burning cross, and the Anti-Defamation League has been keeping an eye on him for years. In response to criticism that he was a "cross-burning KKK member," McClanahan said he wasn't. Rather, he insisted he was a "Pro-White man, horseman, politician, political prisoner-activist who is dedicated to traditional Christian values" and who has only held "honorary memberships with the KKK," according to Missouri's Riverfront Times. 

I got this for you for your Friday: Something tells me this is exactly the thing you need today.