It’s been eight long years since we delivered mediocre grocery store cakes to geniuses across the city, but next year, that streak ends. The Stranger’s Genius Awards are back, baby. 

In the four years since COVID-19 gave all of our beloved cultural institutions a swift kick in the nards, we’ve watched them struggle to stay afloat. Venues have closed, employees have been laid off, and production budgets have been cut over and over again. We’ve felt the pressure too. But we’re still here, and so is Seattle’s art community, despite it all. And we deserve a goddamn party.

The Stranger started the Genius Awards in 2003. At the inaugural ceremony, Dan Savage showed up in a suit jacket “the color of a baked potato,” and, beside an ice sculpture of a giant brain, the paper’s editors awarded the very first Genius Awards to film Genius Web Crowell, art Genius Susan Robb, literary Genius Matt Briggs, and theater Genius Chris Jeffries. Afterward, The Stranger declared the event “a howling success.” Not to be too self-congratulatory, though: “Really, no one was more surprised than I was,” wrote former Stranger Visual Arts Editor Emily Hall. “As thrilled as I was that we were giving substantial awards to artists we really, really like, I didn’t think that a dinner party and awards ceremony could be anything but a dull, tepid affair. I mean, we had seating plans, for God’s sake.”

We did it for 12 more years. We spent more than a decade—and $325,000!!!!—finding the very best this city has to offer, crowning beloved Geniuses like Lindy West, Yussef El Guindi, and Megan Griffiths with golden gnome statuettes and wads of cash. 

It’s time to give our cultural institutions their moment to shine again. It’s time to give this city’s most creative, inspiring people some crappy cake and throw a big ol’ party in their honor. In the past, the categories have included visual art, theater and performance, film, music, and literature. But we’ve overlooked one essential category: Food. We love food. (See page 71.) And our chefs and restaurants have been suffering just as much as any of us. So this time around, we’re adding culinary arts to the mix. Maybe we’ll crown a chef or a restaurant or a pop-up, or maybe we’ll find something brand-new we want to celebrate. Who knows, we’ve got a lot of non-culinary years to make up for, and so much good food to eat. (Special consideration will be given to anyone who can make a hot dog look as happy as Bill Hinker does.)

So, Geniuses of Seattle, watch your backs! A sheet cake declaring, “You’re a Friggin’ Genius” could be coming your way soon.