To the haphazard brass band marching up and down E. Olive Way playing "Careless Whisper" for hours on a TUESDAY night: Thanks for letting me know I am, in fact, getting too old for Capitol Hill’s antics. 

I moved into my apartment for less than $1,000 per month in 2021. I always said I’d hang onto this unit forever. But as I laid awake at midnight listening to your twelfth shoddy rendition of "Careless Whisper," I realized that I AM getting old. But, any way you slice it, playing music that loud and long on a weeknight is rude.

I hope all your phone chargers die.

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