That Thunderpussy is trademarked, finally.
That Thunderpussy is trademarked, finally. Lester Black

It's Quibi Day: The streaming service with the shortest attention span is joining the streaming wars today. As Vulture aptly summarized, the short-form streaming platform (think: "'quick bites' of entertainment designed to be consumed, snacklike, on your mobile device") is betting that "millions of consumers already overwhelmed with streaming options will pay $5 per month to stream premium, star-studded versions of the short-form content they already get delivered to their phones for free via YouTube and social media."

It's got two subscription tiers: one that's $4.99 per month with “some ads” and one that's $7.99 per month with no ads. Here's what's good on the platform.

Still confused and wondering WTF is Quibi? Vox has a good primer.

Catch up on the latest COVID-19 headlines riiiiiiiiight here.

There's an election tomorrow in Wisconsin: Did you forget? You're forgiven if you did. We shouldn't even be having it, considering the circumstances.

Wisconsin polling places will be open and absentee ballots will need to postmarked by tomorrow: Democrats attempted to delay the primary and extend ballot-by-mail deadlines, but the Supreme Court denied the request. All of that aside: Who will win in Wisconsin tomorrow? Probably not Bernie.

A baby break courtesy of Seattle City Council President Lorena González.

Not to be a Debbie Downer but the Great Barrier Reef is bleaching again:

New aerial data... shows example after example of overheating and damage along the reef, a 1,500-mile natural wonder. The survey amounts to an updated X-ray for a dying patient, with the markers of illness being the telltale white of coral that has lost its color, visible from the air and in the water.

Sound Transit has stopped "almost all" of its construction work: A few construction sites will stay open, like the Interstate 90 floating bridge that will connect light rail to the Eastside.

Is your hair driving you crazy? Here are some tips.

ICYMI: The Seattle band Thunderpussy has finally been granted a U.S. trademark. The United States Patent and Trademark Office accused the name of being too "scandelous" to trademark. But, after five years and two U.S. Supreme Court cases, the band won their federal trademark.

Are you wondering which celebrities have/did/do have coronavirus? You probably aren't, but here's a very abbreviated tally from Vulture's ongoing list: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Idris Elba, Daniel Dae Kim, Andy Cohen, Scarface, Sara Bareilles, Pink, Kevin Durant, Chris Cuomo, Harvey Weinstein...

It's Paul Rudd's birthday: He's 51. Do you remember him in 200 Cigarettes? He had mutton chops and humped Courtney Love in a bathroom.

Do you know COBOL? If so, New Jersey governor Phil Murphy would like to chat with you. The state's overloaded unemployment system runs on the old programming language called COBOL and they need a team to help them dissect it. “We have systems that are 40-plus years old,” the governor said, after calling it "COBOLT" (there's no "T"). “There’ll be lots of postmortems, and one of them will be how the heck did we get here?, when we literally needed COBOL programmers.”

This is kinda cute: A Ballard "Peep" show.

The high-rise West Seattle Bridge was closed for its 14th consecutive morning today: The low bridge is "reserved for transit, freight, emergency response, and Harbor Island access," writes West Seattle Blog. Many drivers are ignoring that reservation and police are reportedly pulling over violators.

The novel coronavirus is fucking up grassroots political organizing: “No doubt fund-raising is way, way, way down."

My favorite headline I saw today: Americans Don’t Trust the Media Anymore. So Why Do They Trust the Cuomos?

Hey, it's nice outside: It's going to be nice for the whole week.

But remember: Don't act like a fucking idiot. You'll kill someone's grandma.